Help What Do I Say, Grief Etiquette Printable, What Not to Say to Someone Grieving, Condolence Texts, Bereavement Support Cheat Sheet
$3.55
Most of us have said the wrong thing to someone who is grieving. "At least they're not suffering." "Everything happens for a reason." "Let me know if you need anything." We didn't mean any harm. We meant the opposite. We were trying to comfort, and we reached for whatever words came first.
If a grieving person says one of those things about their own loss, that's theirs to say. When it comes from us, it can land as "please hurry up and feel better." Not because we're unkind, but because nobody ever taught us what actually helps.
This short guide does. Five gentle pages: what to say, what to skip and what to say instead, and texts you can copy and send today. I wrote it as a mom who lost my daughter, Harper, and as a certified grief educator, from the words that helped me most and the ones I still remember for the wrong reasons.
🕯️ WHAT IT IS
✔ A 5-page quick guide for anyone who wants to show up for someone grieving
✔ For friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, church family and teachers
✔ For any loss: a child, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend
✔ All words are original, written for this shop
💛 WHAT'S INSIDE
✔ Say this: 12 short, honest things to say, plus ways to say it without words
✔ Skip this, say this instead: 12 common phrases kind people say, why they sting, and what to try
✔ Texts you can send today: for the first week, a month later, birthdays, the anniversary, the holidays, and when you haven't heard back
✔ If you already said the wrong thing: a simple 3-step repair
✔ A little space to write the words you'll use, and who you'll text
✔ A thank-you page with 25% off your next order (THANKYOU25)
📄 SIZES AND FILES
✔ US Letter and A4
✔ Color + printer-friendly (low ink) versions
✔ PDF, 4 files
🖨️ HOW IT WORKS
✔ Buy, then download right away from You > Purchases and Reviews (or the link in your email)
✔ Print at home, read it on your phone, or keep it in your Notes for when you need it
✔ Print at 100% / actual size
🎁 PERFECT FOR
✔ The moment you hear the news and freeze
✔ Before a funeral, a visit or a phone call
✔ Tucking into a sympathy card or a meal drop-off for the people helping
✔ Grief groups, churches, schools and workplaces (personal license; message me for a group license)
🤍 GOOD TO KNOW
✔ Digital download only. Nothing will be shipped to you.
✔ For personal use. Please don't resell or share the files.
✔ A gentle guide. It supports, and doesn't replace, professional care.
✔ If you or someone you love is in crisis, call or text 988 (U.S.) or your local emergency number.
✔ Want more? "How to Show Up for a Grieving Family" is the full 19-page guide for friends and family after the loss of a child.
You don't need perfect words. You only need to keep showing up.
Real tears. Real love.
Harper's Heart Press
Digital downloads
File delivery
Your files will be available to download once payment is confirmed.
Payment Options
Returns & Exchanges
Returns & exchanges not accepted
But please contact me if you have problems with your order
Privacy policy
Privacy Policy – Harper's Heart Press
Harper's Heart Press is a small shop run by one mom. Most of my customers are grieving, and I take the trust you place in me seriously. This policy explains what information I receive when you buy from my shop, how I use it, and how I protect it.
Information I collect
When you buy from my shop, Etsy shares some of your information with me so I can complete your order:
Your name and Etsy username
Your email address
Your billing or shipping address (Etsy collects this at checkout even for digital items)
Your order details, like what you bought and when
Any messages you send me through Etsy
I never see or store your payment card details. Etsy handles all payments.
What I never see
My workbooks are digital downloads that you print or fill in privately. I don't see, collect, or store anything you write in them. Your words, memories and reflections belong only to you.
How I use your information
I use your information only to:
Deliver your digital files and help with any download problems
Answer your questions and messages
Keep the business records required for taxes and accounting
Comply with the law and with Etsy's policies
I don't sell, rent, or trade your personal information. I won't add you to an email list or send you marketing unless you choose to sign up.
Who I share it with
I share your information only when I have to, and only with:
Etsy, which runs the marketplace and processes payments (see Etsy's Privacy Policy at etsy.com/legal/privacy)
Tax and accounting services, and only as needed for my business records
Legal authorities, if the law requires it
If you share your story with me
Many of you tell me about your loss in messages, and I'm honored when you do. Anything you share about your child or your grief is kept completely private. I will never share it, quote it, or use it in my marketing without your clear, written permission.
How long I keep it
I keep order information for as long as I need it to provide support and meet tax and legal requirements, which is generally up to seven years. After that, I delete it.
Your rights
Depending on where you live, you may have the right to:
Ask what personal information I hold about you
Ask me to correct or delete it
Object to or limit how I use it
Receive a copy of your information
This includes rights under laws like the GDPR (EU/UK) and U.S. state privacy laws such as the CCPA. To make a request, message me through Etsy and I'll reply as soon as I can. Some information may need to be kept for legal or tax reasons, and some requests (like closing your account) are handled directly by Etsy.
How I protect it
I keep your information secure and limit access to myself. I don't keep copies of order information outside of Etsy except where tax records require it.
Contact
If you have a question about your privacy, please send me a message through Etsy.
Harper's Heart Press · Idaho, USA
Frequently Asked Questions
Custom and personalized orders
Yes! We can customize most items for you. Whether it is the names or something else, just ask and we will let you know. We can also make some ideas based off your ideas. Let us know. We are all in this togther.